Thursday, June 18, 2009

I have decided to admit...

...that my thumb is black as night and to give up on houseplants, at least for a while.

I know I have a dangerous optimistic streak that could hit any time as I walk past the plants on display for sale, so I don't dare promise that I'll never hope again to keep a houseplant alive, but for now, I am admitting that bringing a plant into my home means certain death.

I've had this wheat for a while and the worst it does it get dusty. Dust, unfortunately, does not cause conniptions in my home, just discouraged inaction, so being dusty is not a capital offense. The wheat stays.

I've converted the few places I used to have plants (may they rest in peace) to completely dead decorations. I expect they will get as dusty as the wheat (or worse), but oh well. I had some ivy in the dining room windows, but the dead eucalyptus from the flowers Stan gave me for Mother's Day made a handy substitute.

For a while (six or eight plant replacements worth) I've had a house plant in the living room. I just replaced it with a rock/glass garden. I expect I will water it less than the plant, but not by much, since that was part of the problem :) The green plate is my homage to the color of life, even if it is only a sad stand in.


Is anyone wondering why I don't do silk? Or polyester, or whatever it is?

Now THAT (unlike deadness and dust) is a capital offense - I live with a botanist after all :)

3 comments:

Alyssa McVey said...

Black thumbs of the world, unite! (I have the same problem) :)

Mom said...

Matt with pets, you with plants... What's up?

AES said...

If I remember correctly, I learned the phrase black thumb from your self description, so I can claim heredity :) I don't know Matt's excuse, although maybe it is a strange mutation of a black thumb.

At least we can commiserate with each other and I have Alyssa to sympathize with me, too (BTU!)